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Bluesorrhea
Symptoms: Disoriented lines, weak pentatonic tendencies
Treatment: Apply sound advice liberally to affected area
Doctor Recommends: Blue Grooves, Shred-Ahead Blues-Rock, Assembly Lines
Southern Groovatic Flu
Symptoms: Decayed rhythmic sensibilities, prone to train wrecks
Treatment: Get your groove on with accelerated rhythmic counseling
Doctor Recommends: Groove Camp, Rhythmic Grooves, Groove Builder
Acute Improvitis
Symptoms: Freezing up during solos, vacant thought patterns
Treatment: Ingest massive doses of improvisational grey matter
Doctor Recommends: Jazzed Blues, Blues Rock Evolution, Blues-Rock Secret Sauce
Chordalticulitis
Symptoms: Severely limited range of chord selection
Treatment: Frequent feedings of alternate voicings and inversions
Doctor Recommends: Chord Cookbook, Rhythmology
Post-Solophrenia
Symptoms: Fits of extreme paranoia and self-doubt after soloing
Treatment: Frequent meditation on insightful self-expression concepts
Doctor Recommends: Blues Architect, Solology, Vertical Soloing
Quasi Modalis
Symptoms: Any reference to “modes” triggers confusion and arrhythmia
Treatment: Achieve clarity and understanding through modal therapy
Doctor Recommends: Improv a La Mode, Total Modal
Picking Tunnel Syndrome
Symptoms: Monotonous repertoire and cramped technique
Treatment: Expose self regularly to fresh tunage and skills
Doctor Recommends: New School Fingerstyle, Roots, Rags and Blues, Fingerstyle Finesse
Chronic Manusfrigidus
Symptoms: Left and right hand techniques ineffective for no apparent reason
Treatment: Expand fretboard awareness with new shapes, forms and pattern
Doctor Recommends: Essential Techniques, Melodic Patterns, CAGED Dominant
